David P. Miller
I’m a big, big tipper, am I right? The biggest.
Take a look at this kisser. Watch the girls
fall all over themselves, step and fetch
my finnan haddie. Swoon these pearly whites.
You read my book? They call it my magnum opus,
my secret brain pill. But you wait, I’ll out-
opus that magnum so fast they’ll have to
run two marathons just to catch their breath.
It’s all up here, the promised land jam-packed inside
this world-class noggin. If you could get yourself
a gander in there, you’d have to jump off a bridge
and drown and then kill yourself. I can’t help it.
Who did my eyebrows? You noticed. I’ll let you in
on it. You’re in with the in-crowd. I’d say In Like Flynn,
but who the hell is Flynn? Don’t talk to me
about Flynn, he’s yesterday’s bozo. They’re comb-overs –
never guessed, right? I have the top specialized hair-
piece specialists, they work exclusively for me.
And they match my ties. A new silk tie
every day of the year. Strictly the finest. Old ones
go straight to the homeless. Next, they land
great jobs slinging hash. Notice how I call them
“homeless,” not “bums” or “human refuse?”
I have the kindest heart that way. Go ask the angels.
David P. Miller is the author of The Afterimages (Červená Barva Press, 2014). His poems have appeared in Meat for Tea, Main Street Rag, Ibbetson Street, riverbabble, Muddy River Poetry Review, Wilderness House Literary Review, Painters and Poets, Fox Chase Review, Third Wednesday, Oddball Magazine, Incessant Pipe, Lyrical Somerville, and Ekphrastic Review, among others. His poem “Kneeling Woman and Dog” was included in the 2015 edition of Best Indie Lit New England. David was a member of the multidisciplinary Mobius Artists Group of Boston for 25 years, and is a librarian at Curry College in Milton, Mass.
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