What Rough Beast | Poem for November 11, 2017

Zachary Taylor Knox
(anxiety)

We the people heard their songs from the cotton fields, their sorrow haunted our confused rage
We held power in each hour of each year
We stomped their hopes but never their fears
We worried what if they would revolt next year?
We kept them down even when
We gave them freedom
We turned up our noses because they weren’t like
We they had developed their own frightening identity so what if they were free
We are better
We are sophisticated
We wear turtleneck sweaters
We wore white hoods because they lived in hoods and looked scary,
We separated churches, schools, and history
We assured ourselves it was right despite the guilty feeling deep down inside
We shoved that away by starting a charity
We sold the idea they needed our help because
We told ourselves they weren’t smart and that was the science
We learned at the university the professor assigned
We to read in a book, but despite the generous morality
We showed them, they assembled against
We and cried for equality but what of the freedom
We granted to the slaves? ungrateful knaves
We sacrificed brothers, fathers, sons in the great civil war, what more could they want?
We tried to teach them respect but they became upset and riot flipping cars in the streets
We tried to give them culture by teaching nietzsche and wagner but they made their own
We bought it and appreciated at a distance even listened to the lessons they preached
We kept acceptance just out reach by turning it into our own
We kept them working for free in that way
We of course made sure they had a home and food to atone
We want to fight for their right to be left alone but they reject our help
We just want them to keep the homes and food
We slaved 9 to 5 to give them projects while
We sat in our nice suburban homes
We just don’t understand they have their freedom they have their equality
We made them a month of history yet still they bemoan
We even gave them their own identity politically, African american
We are real sorry
We humbly regret that
We just don’t get it yet
THEY are the ones trying to get us through our slavery for how can
We set them free if
We have never been free?
We are blind see it’s not them, why, you, me, i, he, she, or whatever identity it is WE

 

Zachary Taylor Knox’s poems have appeared in Ealain and Penny Ante Feud. He lives in Fort Madison, Iowa.

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What Rough Beast | Poem for November 10, 2017

Anthony Cappo
Sitting In A Beach Café in Tulum In the Last Hours of the Obama Administration

Look homeward, angel, but
a thorn’s in my eye.

The braying in the capital a foghorn
shouting down all

that’s decent and kind. Old wine
in old thin skin.

And here in Mexico, single again,
stitching pieces of my life—

fissured, worn resist being put back
together. A child’s rag doll

thrown out a window. Strung
from the rafters like a quisling king

after liberation. And in Washington
gilded pageantry, staggering lies.

My Facebook feed reads
like an online guestbook

for a dear departed. Our parting president
says we will survive this.

But I shiver. Dread
leaching through

like toxic sludge. The hole in my life
matching the one in our polity.

We will resist, but things can unravel
like a cheap red tie.

We try, but the brown-boot creature
in the rearview

can overtake. All we have is a patched-up
Ford and a pedal.

We floor it, hoping once more
to have enough

juice to outrun
its storming pursuit.

 

Anthony Cappo is the author of My Bedside Radio (Deadly Chaps Press, 2016).  His poems have appeared in THRUSH, Prelude, Connotation Press: An Online Artifact, Stone, Pine Hills Review, Yes Poetry, and other publications. Cappo received his MFA in creative writing from Sarah Lawrence College.  Originally from South Jersey, he now resides in New York City. Learn more at anthonycappo.com.

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Poem 10 ± World AIDS Day 2017

Roger Ian Rosen
Bloody Fingerprints on an Innocent

Is it true that I still crane my neck,
Try to be noticed,
Try for some form of acknowledgement
At the mere sight of a gay man woman trans couple queer family bi nonbinary.
Yes, me too. Me too, I cry out in glances.
I’m here. We’re here. Together. I see you. Do you see me?

Growing up under the Reagan regime,
Listening to them
Decry my life not worth living,
Pounding pounding pounding away at their daily message:
My life worth death. Painful and alone and tossed
Both fickly and purposefully into heaps of other garbage.
Deserving of all ills real and imagined, figurative and
Literal.
A slow dawning as the door of normal slammed in my face
In the mirror one horrifying morning.
Oh, look. A faggot.
Me. Faggot. Death. Deserving. Me. Alone. Abomination. Me.
Disease itself. Me.
Pouring into me, through me, souring.
This host beautifully hospitable, giving the disease of condemnation a fertile ground to
Infect and cancer.
I had no choice—knew nothing else. There were no options of knowledge.
But I found them. Hungry and sick and
Desperate for a cure, I found them.
They were chemo, AZT. I ingested word after word,
Idea after idea, rant after rant.
Seeking an unlearning of things I didn’t know I’d learned.
Unconscious acceptance of the never questioned. I got high
On their questions. And strong. Each thought a piece I could
Pick up and glue back with glitter and lavender glue.

So much has faded, allowing the pulsing
Rage of still unanswered questions to flow and bloom in semi-automatic words that
Rapid-fire from these lips.
But so much remains.
Because I know it’s weird that after all this time
I still crane my neck to notice and to be noticed noticing.
You too? Yeah, you too. Me too, too.

But it is me now.
And I hold it close, lest I forget
Where I come from and who made me me,
Whose inhumanity stared back at me in that mirror.
Who stuck their thumbs into my still wet cement and left
Their bloody fingerprints on an innocent.

 

logoRoger Ian Rosen writes so that his husband might ever experience silence. He is author of Backdoor Bingo (a melding of gay pulp fiction and over-the-top camp, sex, and silliness…with audience participation!), which continues to unfurl on social media #backdoorbingo (_roger0nimo_ on Instagram and @Rogeronimo_com on Twitter) even as we speak. Roger is currently working towards an MFA in interdisciplinary arts at Goddard College in Vermont. (Editor’s note: I could not help myself from posting a link to this video of Roger at work/play.)

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Poem 9 ± World AIDS Day 2017

Robin Gorsline
A Seminary AIDS Quartet

First, there was Mike,
young, skinny, creating wonders
of liturgical truth,
not ever accepting
even the existence of a box
into which the chapel worship had to
fit.

And then Kevin
Roman Catholic theologian
who talked and wrote
openly, honestly,
about that which the Vatican fears most,
sex.

Stephen came to seminary
to untangle the mystery—at least to him, an atheist—
of why HIV/AIDS,
the virus he knew he carried,
freaked out so many good Christian
folk.

Finally, it was Norman,
later-in-life clergy student
keeping his sexual life
a secret until the virus
invaded, took him home
dead.

These four, among the finest men
I have known, part of an army
of men-loving-men New Yorkers
dying as so many
struggled to get the world
just to notice.

I see yet how it might have been,
the world graced by their gifts—
Mike hanging blue bunting
across the globe for all to know
Christ is not only dead, risen, coming again,
but already and always here;
Kevin leading papal panels
on sex, gender justice;
Stephen publishing the poems
bursting from his strong, hallowed hands and soul;
Norman preaching God’s truths
to a flock, a city, nation even,
hungry for different lives and world.

What might have been
can only be
what we carry of them
beyond our tears—
In vows to end the pandemic
still striking too many
good women and men, especially
Black men kept back and down—
in prayers of gratitude
for these four and so many more
whose too brief sojourns among us
leave us yearning for more.

 

logoRobin Gorsline is a late-in-life writer, claiming his passion after a varied career in public office and service, non-profit administration, religious leadership, and LGBTQIA and anti-racism activism. He writes several blogs, including SexBodiesSpirit and The Naked Theologian. He is a father of three and grandfather of two, lives in Greenbelt, MD, with his husband of 20 years and their standard poodle.

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What Rough Beast | Poem for November 9, 2017

Sylvia Byrne Pollack
What the Deaf Woman Doesn’t Want to Hear About

The deaf woman is distressed by the news of the day.
World events upset the deaf woman.
On the Day of Atonement the president blames hurricane victims for not
watching him on TV.
They have no power.
They are dying but that drama distracts, redirects focus from opulent gold
toilets to Americans wading in sewage, waiting for help.
They missed the subordinate clause that defines them as losers—house
gone, clothes gone, food gone, gasoline gone, health gone, jobs
gone, life going, going, gone.
The deaf woman sends cash to the Red Cross, sees red whenever she hears
another egregious statement from the White-wash House.
But what should the hurricane victims expect—they speak Spanish, live in
a tropical territory, an island in the middle of an ocean for christ’s
sake, not dangling penis-like from the continental United States.
Their golf course was a loser.

 

Sylvia Byrne Pollack’s work has appeared in Floating Bridge Review, Crab Creek Review, Clover, and Antiphon, among other journals. A recipient of the 2013 Mason’s Road Winter Literary Award and a finalist for the 2014 inaugural Russell Prize, she is currently writing a series of “Deaf Woman Poems” inspired by Marvin Bell’s “Dead Man Poems.”

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Poem 8 ± World AIDS Day 2017

Risa Denenberg
the night we tossed your ashes

mingled with rose petals
into the whitecaps at Cherry Grove

can you see us

standing at the eastern edge
of sand at midnight
and the others, your friends
stampeding into waves
at high tide butt-naked
calling to me

come in come in come in

because of you
I have ebbed
into a bystander
the rest of my days
without buoyancy or grace

 

logoRisa Denenberg is the author of the poetry collections Whirlwind @ Lesbos (Headmistress Press, 2016), In My Exam Room (The Lives You Touch Publications, 2014), blinded by clouds (Hyacinth Girl Press, 2014), Mean Distance from the Sun (Aldrich Press, 2013), and What We Owe Each Other (The Lives You Touch Publications, 2013). Denenberg lives a quiet life in a place of stunning beauty on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington state and earns her keep as a nurse practitioner. She is a co-founder and editor at Headmistress Press, a publisher of lesbian poetry.

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What Rough Beast | Poem for November 8, 2017

MinSoo Kang
Burial in Petrichor

tombstones take the shape
of tree stumps
I see the cracks webbing
around on their surface
dried mud in summer

a woman with no face kneels
like a broken harp
the grass around her are aged
strands of hair

in petrichor
the smell of dried maple
and thunderstorm
rise from the ground
the hornbills scour for food

on the same ground
i buried regret like a child
burying his pet goldfish
with a plastic shovel

 

MinSoo Kang is a junior at International School Manila. He is pursuing his interest in Sport Science and Psychology. He started writing seriously just this year. He works with the families of the victims of Duterte’s drug war in the Philippines. “Burial in Petrichor” was the very first poem he wrote.

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What Rough Beast | Poem for November 7, 2017

Susan Landgraf
The Jester Poses

What else is he to do
When he’s in a lineup on the page
With the father of David,
King of Israel, and Jesus, the teacher,
The Christ dead and risen?

What else can he do
On days when he’s positioned
In a mall, a city or country,
When only the comedians
Tell it like it is.

What else can he do
When he’s not a hierophant, king
Of swords or prince of hearts,
When his job is, after all,
Called to castle, Senate chambers

Or court dressed in motley
With cap, bells and baubles,
This retainer hired so the others
Might appear to be wise?

 

Susan Landgraf is the author of What We Bury Changes the Ground (Tebot Bach, 2017), Other Voices (Finishing Line Press, 2009), and Student Reflection Journal for Student Success (Pearson Education, 2005). Her poems, essays, and articles have appeared in Prairie Schooner, Poet Lore, Margie, Nimrod, The Laurel Review, Ploughshares, and other journals.  published She has taught at Highline College and at Shanghai Jiao Tong University. She lives in Auburn, Wash.

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Poem 7 ± World AIDS Day 2017

Laura Secord
For Women Living with HIV

Survivors with spindle arms and sofa bellies,
whose lovers died when they were young,
who toiled and raised their kids in isolation.

Some grew the extra neck of choking fat
the early meds gave. Some cannot retire,
sunk so deep in drug debt’s mire.

Most dismissed many years ago, any dreams
of sensuality, and struggled daily to keep
their status secret. Here’s to the women

who nursed their families, unbeknownst,
keeping church offices, doctors’
practices afloat, who made art, built monuments

to heroes, saved their schools, rescued
baby turtles, but turned from love,
fearing rejection from disclosure.

They balanced books, were fantastic cooks,
nursed our dads in ICU,
saved lives, went home alone.

They sang soprano in choirs, fed shut-ins,
counseled addicts and braided hair.
Some told their families, and were demoted

to a lonesome paper plate beside the Christmas china,
despite working nights to fund a niece’s tuition.
Here’s to survivors no one praises,

who lived in hiding―
and to those who broke their bonds of silence,
who stepped outside,

inspired others to live freely,
no longer censured by self,
no longer hostages to HIV.

 

logoLaura Secord’s poems have appeared in the Birmingham Weekly, Arts and Understanding, The Southern Women’s Review, PoemMemoirStory, Passager, the HIV Here & Now project Na(HIV)PoWriMo April 2017 online feature, and the Burning House Press poetry blog. She holds an MFA in creative writing from Sierra Nevada College. For thirty years, she combined the life of a writer and performer with a career as a nurse practitioner in HIV care. She is the co-founder of Birmingham’s Sister City Spoken Word Collective, and an editor of their upcoming anthology, Voices of Resistance.

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Robert Carr Reviews Madelyn Garner’s Hum of Our Blood

What Laughter? What Joy?

A Review of Madelyn Garner’s Hum of Our Blood

By Robert Carr

Some experiences require the passage of twenty years before you can write about them. This is the case with Madelyn Garner’s powerful Hum of Our Blood, published by 3: A Taos Press in 2017. In this collection, the author draws on her identity as a poet and as the mother of an artist, photographer Bradley Joseph Braverman. Brad died from complications of HIV disease in 1996, at the age of 34.

I write this review as a gay man, a poet, and a public health professional who has worked in the field of HIV prevention and care for over 30 years.

Garner shares powerful testimony in this collection. The poems are consistently evocative. What I admire, among so many things, is her simultaneous vulnerability and objectivity, her ability to relate to her son Brad as a mother—but also as a fellow artist.

Through these poems, Garner has found a way to bring her talented son back into the world. She has partnered with the dead—a challenge which I have been trying to understand and accomplish for most of my life.

Hum of Our Blood is skillfully organized into three core sections, tracing the course of Brad Braverman’s illness and the speaker’s response as mother and artist. Each of the three main sections opens with a triptych of poems, followed by a deep exploration of each phase in Brad’s AIDS diagnosis.

The book, through the order and titles of poems, succeeds in conveying multiples layers of meaning. For example, the first section “Triptych: Days of Diagnosis” includes the poems “As Ouija Board,” “As Etch-A-Sketch” and “As Playground Swing.” These titles introduce us to the horror of an AIDS diagnosis in the early days of the epidemic (before the availability of effective treatments) through the unlikely framework of the names of childhood toys.

An astonishing quality of Hum of Our Blood is the speaker’s readiness, willingness, and availability to inhabit the sexual life of her son. In “The Baths, 1982” we experience the throb of those years and that erotic milieu

…possessed cocks,

engorged and driven like pistons, exploding
in each pink-cheeked Mozart—creator

of complex études for four hands.

In the same poem, the speaker asks, in the voice of Brad Braverman, “How many times can I be kissed before I die?” This question opens a deep reality for many who survived the early AIDS epidemic. While reading Hum of Our Blood I found myself questioning the arbitrary nature of a pandemic. As a gay man who survived, I am now 58. Today, Brad Braverman would be 56. Each poem in this collection forces the reader, regardless of age, gender or sexuality, to evaluate meaning and value in their life. The poems express terror, but also call on the reader to find gratitude.

The arc of this collection is straightforward and elegant. We witness the transformation of the speaker and Brad Braverman in a series of lines with the power and concentration of epitaph.

In the triptych poem “Days of Diagnosis, As Playground Swing,” the speaker describes the young man, about to receive the fateful diagnosis, as ascending

…weightless—free—beyond the terror of what his blood tests will show.

Still fixable.

Deep into the collection, in the poem “What I Didn’t Know,” all has been transformed:

What laughter? What joy? He is unmendable.

Before his untimely death, Brad Braverman was an accomplished photographer represented by galleries from Los Angeles to New York. The book uses Braverman’s photographic images to extraordinary and heartbreaking effect. There are many examples, but perhaps none as powerful as the connection between word and photograph in the poem “Spring Lament.” 

My womb, old empty pot, cannot replace
what it has lost, but I am ready to nurture
seedlings, tack clematis to trellis,
chase off aphid and beetles.

If only you will tilt. 

These words are followed two pages later by a black-and-white Brad Braverman photograph of a paint chipped cast iron urn positioned in shadow. A sheet of white silk flows from the urn as if in strong wind. The connection between poem and photographic image is vivid, enhancing the narrative connection between mother and son. “Spring Lament” evokes “The Widow’s Lament in Springtime” by William Carlos Williams, and we can imagine the speaker finding a parallel grief in Williams’s words:

Today my son told me
that in the meadows,
at the edge of the heavy woods
in the distance, he saw
trees of white flowers.
I feel that I would like
to go there
and fall into those flowers
and sink into the marsh near them.

Madelyn Garner does not flinch from describing the deepest grief and the tricks the mind plays in order to stay sane. In the poem “Schrödinger’s Cat” the speaker imagines a parallel world where Brad Braverman lives the life she had hoped for

My mind says Yes
to infinite copies of him coming
to the door, young
and transcendent with good blood,
bearing a kitten the color of shadows

Twenty-one years after Brad’s death, the author has found a vehicle for bringing the memory of her son to the door. She invites us to meet him, to appreciate their deep bond, and to learn from the power of their journey. These poems tap into a collective grief that remains relevant today.

Madelyn Garner

On a personal level, I experience this book as a gift. Reading and rereading the poems I found myself recalling my own mother, whom I lost 14 years ago. For years, from 1984-1994, she walked beside me at From All Walks of Life, the fundraising AIDS walk in Boston. She loved deeply, and she loved the young gay men that were in my life.

I will always treasure how strangers surrounded her on those marches. My mother became, in those moments, the mother of all those marchers. Men who had been rejected by their families flocked to her and she embraced them.

In this most personal of projects, Madelyn Garner has shown all of us that there are powerful women, powerful mothers, who still have our backs. This book is a healing force.

 

Publication details:
Perfect Paperback: 102 pages
Publisher: 3: A Taos Press; 1st edition (August 28, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0997201150
ISBN-13: 978-0997201154

 

 

 

 

Robert Carr is the author of Amaranth, a chapbook published in 2016, and an associate editor with Indolent Books. Recent work appears in Assaracus, Bellevue Literary Review, Kettle Blue Review, New Verse News, Pretty Owl Poetry and other publications. He lives with his husband Stephen in Malden Massachusetts, and serves as deputy director for the Bureau of Infectious Disease and Laboratory Sciences with the Massachusetts Department of Public Health.

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