Eileen Tabios
from “HAY(NA)KU DEATH POEMS”
—written in the “reverse hay(na)ku” form to visually manifest disappearance
#18
You never wanted
to live
long
enough to be
surprised by
Faith
Author’s Note: Written Nov. 13, 2018 during the author’s Jury Duty experience in Napa which opened with one of the local judges greeting the summoned jurors. The judge (whose name I can’t recall) said that a judge usually welcomed potential jurors during the first day of their summoned duty. During such welcome speeches, he often shared with the jurors some little-known facts about the courts, the legal system, jury duty, etc. But this day, this judge—who also said “I’m usually funnier”—said he didn’t feel like making light talk given the times: the recent mass shootings as well as the wildfires now burning at both ends of California. But he also said that it was specifically during these rough times that he came to appreciate more our legal system—that it is a way, during tough times, of trying to work things out and hopefully work things out fairly. I was surprised to be moved by his faith…and, more specifically and significantly, saddened that I was surprised to be moved by anyone nowadays expressing faith. For the poem’s purpose, “Compassion” was the trait raised in the first draft, before realizing that “Faith” is more true to its underlying inspiration.
Eileen R. Tabios has released over 50 collections of poetry, fiction, essays, and experimental biographies from publishers in nine countries and cyberspace. Her books include a form-based “Selected Poems” series, The In(ter)vention of the Hay(na)ku: Selected Tercets 1996-2019; THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL: Selected Visual Poetry (2001-2019); INVENT(ST)ORY: Selected Catalog Poems & New 1996-2015; and THE THORN ROSARY: Selected Prose Poems & New 1998-2010. More information is available at eileenrtabios.com.
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